If I Were You
by NephilimEQ
Summary: Rupert Giles is asked by Teresa Lisbon to assist on a case...he reluctantly complies.
1. Chapter 1

"If I Were You"

By Elise Q.

**Title: **If I Were You

**Summary: **A crossover between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Mentalist. Jane sees something between Buffy and Giles that no one else does, while working on a case where an old colleague and mentor of Rupert Giles has been murdered in the state of California.

**Rating:** PG

**Spoilers:** None

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters, except for Charles Grant and Thomas Hargreaves, though at times I wish...please, Joss, I beg you!

**Author: **E. Quackenbush aka NephilimEQ

**Author's Notes:** I was inspired to write this simply because the new season of The Mentalist was about to start.

* * *

Rupert Giles was dead tired. He reached up and drew his glasses from his face, running a hand through his hair, attempting to collect his thoughts.

As he did so, the phone suddenly rang, the sound jarring and obtrusive in the small and quiet apartment.

He reached over and picked up the phone, trying not to let the aggravation show in his voice. "Hello?"

A voice that he didn't recognize began to speak. "Hello? Is this Dr. Rupert Giles, previous curator of the British museum?" At that, he immediately roused a bit from his state of drowsiness. Very few knew of his previous position, and those who did, that were outside Buffy and the rest of their little group, weren't necessarily the type of people he wished to be associated with.

"Yes, y-yes it is. How may I help you?"

The woman was brisk, but to the point. "Sir, my name is Teresa Lisbon. I'm an agent from the California Bureau of Investigation, and I'm afraid that we need your help on an investigation."

At those words, he was completely awake, and also a bit nervous as well, which soon became apparent in the way that his stutter began to show through.

"R-Really? H-How can I be of service?"

She hesitated for a moment, but then told him. "It seems that the most recent curator of the British Museum came out here to California for a visit, and has been murdered. A man by the name of Charles Grant. We were contacted about an hour ago by an associate of his who said that you might be able to assist us on this investigation…"

Giles was silent, not quite believing what he was hearing. He had known the man…known him quite well, as a matter of fact. He had been his teacher for his last year at Oxford.

However, at the word "associate", he had a feeling that he knew exactly who it was that had contacted her.

"Yes, well, how soon would you need my help?" He honestly did not want to ask the question, knowing that she would probably want him there as soon as possible.

"As soon as possible. In fact, we've already sent someone to pick you up. One of our Agents, Agent Rigsby."

Giles didn't know how to respond. He found it rather presumptuous of her, of _them_ to assume that he would help them. But of course, this was America, and they expected their citizens to want to help. He almost thought about playing the "I'm-British-and-you-can't-make-me" card, but he decided against it.

He tried to keep the contempt out of his voice as he responded. "Yes, I guess I'll see you then."

No sooner had he started to speak then his Slayer had walked through the door. He wanted to hang up immediately, but Lisbon kept him on the phone.

"Mr. Giles, if I could find out exactly how you knew Charles Grant, it will help me with some of my investigation before you arrive."

He sighed. "He…He was my mentor during my final year at Oxford. My, my professor." She inquired further. "What did he teach?" Giles hesitated a moment, and then continued, knowing that it was most likely not going to go over well, as most people found it odd. "He taught Demonic Psychology."

There was a pause on her end of the phone, and within the room Buffy was giving him a look. She looked at him. 'Demonic psychology?' she mouthed as she sat down at the breakfast counter.

He ignored her, still waiting for Agent Lisbon to speak.

Her voice sounded slightly odd as she spoke. "O-Okay…th-thank you, Mr. Giles. That actually explains a lot. We'll be seeing you shortly."

Without thinking, he responded. "Yes, I'll see you then."

As he hung up, he knew immediately that Buffy was going to demand where he was going. "Where are you going, Giles? Gotta date?" He turned and gave her a glare, knowing that she'd probably heard most of the conversation. "You know fully well that I don't have a date. It's…it's…"

Suddenly, she slid down from her stool and walked towards him, every word she spoke becoming more and more ominous.

"You…were planning on going somewhere. Without me. Alone…" He outwardly flinched even before she finished. "That's not happening. Wherever you're going, so am I."

"B-But…you can't just leave for a week! You have duties…"

His voice died as she glared at him. "And one of them is making sure that my Watcher stays in one piece. So…where are we going?"

He sat down at his desk, knowing that to argue with her was futile, letting his head fall to his folded arms. This was going to be the longest drive of his life…

They sat in the car with Agent Rigsby in the front, and he was doing most of the talking.

Buffy looked over at Giles with a grin. She recognized it as being a nervous habit, very similar to Willow's, except a bit more organized.

It didn't take too long. After taking two breaks, one for the bathroom and the other one for snacks, they were at the CBI building.

Buffy watched with amusement as her Watcher stepped out of the vehicle to stretch his legs. She winced slightly as she heard his back pop. She hadn't realized that he'd been that cramped. But she hadn't noticed much on the way down except for the fact that his leg had been flush against her own for most of the drive.

She shook the thought from her head and made her way out of the car, working only a couple of kinks in her neck from sitting for so long.

She had a feeling that this was going to be a most interesting experience...

Patrick Jane lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, ignoring the talking that was going on next to his ear.

Of course, the reason why the talking was going on was because Agent Lisbon was trying to convince him to come onto the case.

He, of course, continued to studiously ignore her in the way that always seemed to annoy her. He wasn't sure why it annoyed her, but he found it slightly amusing with the way she reacted.

"Jane...please. This is getting ridiculous!" He could hear the exasperation in her voice, and he was tempted to relent.

At her words, he turned his head towards her, trying to understand her urgency. If anything, this case was practically already solved, but of course she didn't see that. She only saw a very odd murder that seemed to have no leads besides the phone call that had come only a few hours ago from an older British gentleman. The man had been called Travers.

Finally, he sat up and looked at his friend full in the eye. "Fine. I'll do it."

She sighed in relief, but her sigh turned into a groan as he continued. "If...and only if...I get to drive the car."

Lisbon looked at him in surprise. He had never asked to drive the car before, and why he was asking now was slightly suspicious. He had something up his sleeve.

She didn't know what it was, but it was better than not having him on the case at all...

* * *

**Part 1/?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Giles walked off the elevator, obviously apprehensive…at least, to his Slayer. After spending so many years with him, she could read him like a book. He was ridiculously tense, especially around his shoulders, and she had to clench her fingers tightly together to prevent herself from reaching up and try to relieve the tension.

He walked into what she recognized as the "bullpen" as they called it on television.

She glanced around, curious as to why they wanted Giles' help on a case. She knew it involved someone he used to know, but that was it.

An oriental looking man approached them and said, "Hi. I'm Agent Cho. You can wait over there."

He motioned a brisk hand towards an office, and Buffy tried not to be offended by the man's slightly stand-offish attitude. She was used to that sort of thing, but that didn't mean that she liked it in any way, but then Giles place a hand on her shoulder and she relaxed slightly.

Giles then gently motioned for her to go first, and dropped his hand from her shoulder so that it instead barely rested on her lower back.

Unseen by both of them was Jane, who watched their body language with a curious look on his face.

"Interesting…" he muttered to himself, and then quickly walked over to join them in Lisbon's office.

He quickly walked over to join them, curious to see who they were and just how they related to the case. Just from their age difference and their body language, he knew that something intriguing was definitely going on between them, and he was eager to exploit it.

They both looked up at him when he walked in, and he noted that it was interesting how the man was standing and the blonde was sitting. Was he deferring to her? Oh, well, it didn't matter.

"Hi, my name is Patrick Jane, I'm a consultant for the CBI. You must be Rupert Giles and Buffy Summers…"

They nodded, and he shook both of their hands and then continued.

"Agent Lisbon should be here shortly, but until she arrives is it alright with the two of you if I go ahead and, uh, ask some questions?"

Miss Summers looked up at the Mr. Giles and the gentleman nodded, leaving Jane slightly confused as to who was the alpha in this relationship…but he ignored it and went ahead.

"How well did you know the deceased, Charles Grant?"

Mr. Giles spoke up. "He was my professor when I was getting my doctorate at Oxford. I knew him for my entire four years of school there, and then for about three years after that, after I got my job as curator."

Jane nodded, carefully analyzing what he had said and his body language as he said it.

"There's something else you're not telling me…something big. Important." The man said nothing and his face revealed nothing and Jane was slightly impressed. The man had a good poker face, but he pushed some more to see if he could get a rise out of him. "Something to do with…Miss Summers."

There! A slight twitch of the man's left hand. He was on the right track.

"About how you two know each other…" Stone faced; no expression or tell. "…about your relationship to each other." Another twitch. Aha! So that was what was going on.

There were two secrets. The one about how they knew each other, which was obviously a secret that the both of them were used to concealing, but then there was another secret, and, from judging Miss Summers' reactions, it was one having to do with the man's feelings towards the young woman, something that she was unaware of.

He'd leave it alone for the time being.

"But…I don't think that it pertains to our case. At least, not at the moment…"

He saw both of their bodies relax slightly and he decided to stop tormenting them and get to some more serious questions.

"What _does_ pertain to our case is the fact that someone, not the two of you, knew him as well, and also knew that he'd been murdered…and that someone is being questioned by the Majesty's government and Scotland Yard as we speak. A Mr. Quentin Travers…do either of you know him?"

Neither of them said anything, but Jane saw their body language and he grinned.

"Yes…apparently you do. And, obviously for some unknown reason to me, you both seem to loathe the man…thank you, that's all I need to know for now…"

Just as he finished, Lisbon walked in and he quickly left, but not before whispering in her ear, "Oh, it may look like they're hiding something, which they are, I assure you, but it has nothing to do with this case, so rest assured that it's taken care of. Oh, and don't forget," he added. "I get to drive the car this time."

With that, he left, leaving Lisbon confused, but she brushed it off as Jane being Jane and turned to the two people in her office.

"Mr. Giles, Miss Summers…thank you for coming."

Giles nodded and shook the hand that she offered and then Buffy did as well.

She then sat down behind her desk and motioned for Giles to sit in the extra empty chair, but he shook his head.

"No, thank you…I've been sitting for several hours. I'd prefer to stand."

Theresa nodded and smiled, understanding, and then went straight into the questions without preamble.

"First, I'd like to say that I'm very sorry for your loss." Giles nodded his thanks at her words, and she continued. "Now, how long did you know Charles Grant, Mr. Giles?"

"Seven years. Four years while obtaining my doctorate and three after, while I was curator."

She nodded, obviously thinking something over and then said, "We found some notes on him, notes pertaining to the subject that you said he taught, as well as several different times in his appointment book, which we have found out were lectures that he was giving to a few campuses over the state area. One of them is supposed to be two days from now at UC Sunnydale…can you tell me anything about that?"

Giles shook his head no, obviously confused, but then Buffy said, "Oh!"

Lisbon gave her a look. "Miss Summers?"

Buffy then hesitated and looked back at Giles, and then back at Agent Lisbon, not sure of how to say it.

"Uh…well, I go to UC Sunnydale, you see, and my friend told me that she and another friend were planning on going to a lecture by someone named Dr. Grant…I only just remembered."

She looked back at Giles, and he gave her a faint nod. Yes, he knew that she was mentioning Willow and Tara.

Lisbon nodded and then looked back at Giles and asked, "So Dr. Grant never contacted you to tell you that he was going to be in town? No letters, no phone calls, no texts, no e-mails?"

At these last two mentions, Buffy snorted and said, "He's like…allergic to all technology after the seventies."

Giles gave her a chastising look, but she remained unaffected by it, and he let out a sigh and then reached up and removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously stressed by the whole situation.

"No, nothing. I didn't even know he was teaching again."

"What do you mean by again, Mr. Giles?"

He sighed and quickly explained.

"After I left the museum and came here, to the States, I got a few letters from him. He said he'd retired from teaching because he'd been called as…as the head of a board. A very important one, mind you, and that he'd been given a great deal of responsibility…but that he'd never wanted anything more. That was the last I ever heard from him."

Buffy was able to read between the lines, and quickly deduced that Charles Grant had been the head of the Council of Watchers. Big deal indeed.

Lisbon nodded and then dropped the bombshell of information that she'd been holding back.

"We found him dead in a graveyard, not far off of USC campus…if possible, do you think you might come with us to the crime scene?"

Buffy and Giles exchanged a look, slowly coming to a realization of what was going on, and Giles nodded.

"Of course, anything to help."

Lisbon stood and so did Buffy, and the agent motioned for them to leave first, so they did, Buffy and Giles first with Theresa following. Suddenly, Jane appeared around the corner with two mugs in his hand and handed one to Giles.

"You looked like you needed some tea. Chamomile?"

Giles smiled and nodded.

"Yes, thank you."

Jane then saw that they were about to head out the door, and he smiled and pulled out a pair of keys from his pocket and jangled them in front of Lisbon's face.

"I'm driving."

She was livid. "How'd you get-?"

He gave her another flippant grin and then leaned in the same way he had earlier and then gently tugged on the pocket of her coat with the hand that held the keys.

"If I were you, I'd pay closer attention to my surroundings, Theresa…"

He quickly pulled back and took a sip of his tea, his eyes sparkling with amusement, and he looked over and was pleased when he saw Miss Summers trying to stop a smile from sneaking across her lips at the two's interaction.

Yes…this was going to be an interesting case, indeed.

* * *

**Part 2/?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The drive started off simply enough, but about two minutes into the drive Giles had to ask, "Out of, um, curiosity, Agent Lisbon, why do you need us to see the crime scene?"

From the passenger's side of the car, she turned her head towards where he sat in the back and gave him a quick once over.

"Well, from what I've heard from your local police department, you've helped them out on occasion and have a knack for helping them close cases. So, since I'm positive that you have nothing do with Mr. Grant's death, I'd like your assistance on the case…is that alright with the two of you?"

He nodded and gave her a shaky smile.

"Y-Yes…that's fine."

Buffy nodded as well, and then looked over at him and favored him with a smile of her own. He really did underestimate himself sometimes.

Surprisingly enough, Jane was not a horrible driver, which allowed Theresa to actually relax as the drive went on…but as they got closer to the crime scene, he suddenly pulled into a Wendy's and went into the drive thru lane, Lisbon completely confused.

"Jane, what are you-?"

He cut her off.

"You never, _never_ stop for food anytime that you drive. Rigsby does, Van Pelt does, even _Cho_ does, but _you_…you _never_ do. You never bother to ask me if I'm hungry. Well, right now I'm hungry." He looked in the rearview mirror at Buffy and Giles and said, "Do either of you want anything? I'm paying."

Buffy leaned forward in her seat and said, "I wouldn't say no to a burger and fries. Ooh, and maybe one of those malt shakes?"

Giles smiled at that, his arm resting on the seat behind her, and then was surprised when Jane said, "C'mon, Rupert…I bet you want something. No British, stiff upper lip…what do you want?"

He hesitated a moment, not wanting to say, but then Buffy looked at him, the start of a smart remark on the tip of her tongue, and he quickly responded.

"I'll have a large malt shake."

Jane smiled.

"Great!" He turned to Lisbon, who sat in the passenger's seat with her arms across her chest, glaring at him. "And what'll you be having, Theresa?"

"Nothing. Because I'm not hungry." She then turned her head to face the window. "And because I'm mad at you."

"Oh, don't be that way, Lisbon…I'll get you something anyway. Think of it as a peace offering." She said nothing, and he rolled up to the speaker and said, "I'll two cheeseburgers, both with fries, and four large malt shakes." The voice over the speaker told them their total was twelve seventy-five and to drive around to pay and pick up their order.

Lisbon's frown suddenly wasn't as dour as it was before and Giles could almost see a smile sneak onto the corner of her mouth as Jane handed her the shake.

As soon as they all had their food, he drove the rest of the way to the crime scene without incident.

Giles smiled as he watched Buffy eat her cheeseburger, sitting on one of the headstones, and he was suddenly reminded of when they used to patrol at night during high school.

Lisbon gave Buffy a slightly strange look, but then Jane saw what she was doing and he smiled.

"That's a good idea Miss Summers…mind if I join you?"

She shook her head.

"Not at all. Plenty of room on top of this tombstone."

She scooted over and patted the empty space next to her, and Jane joined her, both of them eating their burgers and fries. Lisbon simply stared at them as if they were crazy, and started to talk, in between sentences absently taking sips from her shake.

"This is the area where we found him." She pointed to a grave marker a few yards from where they were. "That's the exact place we found his body."

Giles took a look around the cemetery, trying to see how exactly he might have been attacked and then Buffy gave him a look from where she sat, and he knew that she was aware of his theory.

He'd most likely been attacked by a vampire.

However, it didn't hurt to entertain other ideas, so he put his shake on the headstone next to Buffy, and took a closer look around, walking over to the grave, looking for any other signs that would point to a human killer. He knelt down and saw a faint bloodstain on the headstone and discreetly used a clean handkerchief to take a sample of the blood. He knew of a few spells that could help him find out exactly what had happened and pinpoint who the killer was.

He then stood back up and looked back to the other three, and then tried not to smile at the amusing sight of Jane and Buffy on the headstone, tossing fries into the air and trying to catch them in their mouths.

Honestly, she could be so immature…and then she laughed, and he felt a faint stab in his heart as he saw the woman in her.

He shook his head, freeing himself of the thoughts and then turned back to Agent Lisbon.

"Was there any injury to his neck at all?"

Confused by his question she shook her head. "No, none. He was stabbed in the heart with a wooden stake, why?"

At that, Buffy's head turned and Giles could see the tension fill her frame. Yes, they both knew what that meant. It could mean several things…but, of course, both she and Giles knew that someone was trying to send a message to them.

A message to the Slayer and her Watcher…somehow the killer knew that Giles would be called in. That meant that they knew that Buffy would come along as well.

It meant that the killer knew their secret and was going to exploit it.

And it also meant…

…that they were most likely the next targets.

* * *

**Part 3/?**


End file.
